Loving not wisely, but too well

Fuck livejournal, fuck fuck fuck fuck.  It just ate my enormous post.  All I wanted to record was that L hugely kissed me on the cheek on the 3rd of our three hugs goodbye tonight - totally a slippery slope to letting him kiss me on the mouth, to (my current total) lust, to somehow being back together again, to still not ever trusting a single word that comes out of his mouth, because I have a complete, confirmed, proven blindspot for when he's lying.  My gut believes everything.  It's seamless.  But if everything feels right, nothing can be trusted.
Perhaps I'll rewrite the post some other day.  This drama is far from over, alas.
(Pithy conclusion of the other post: L can't become my sextoy until I have a new shiny I actually care about.  For that, I need to stop loving him.)
(Also, delighting in how much he looked like David Cameron, the UK prime minister, in his cleanshavenness and suit today.  I would be hard pressed to find a less sexy celebrity likeness.  Cameron can kill any mood I'm in any day. Post-breakup, this is a useful thing to notice again. And his cologne tonight was hideous - too much, too blech.)